Just a little media alert we sent out to the press this morning…
For immediate release
SORRY INTERNET, WE BROKE TWITTER
OMAHA, NEB., June 22, 2012 – A panic ensued yesterday as one of the world’s most popular social networks went down. Awkwardly, we know whom to blame.
Twitter, the beloved social network with more than 465 million members went down yesterday. Not fail whale down, but officially off the grid down. At first we assumed it would be up after a minute or two, but as our watches ticked on, more people began to panic.
Thousands flocked to Tumblr and Facebook to comment on their frustrations. Then the guessing blame game started getting posted to the tech blogs. Accusations and blame were thrown at everything from hackers to tripping over the cord and unplugging Twitter.
But sometimes you must own up and make the buck stop. Yesterday, we launched the latest version of Phenomblue.com. In our new design, we showcase an evolved way of doing things, and a better reflection of who we are, what we’re doing and where we’re going. We feel the new design tells the world that we are a full-service brand experience agency. That we believe a good experience is the result of a good product—one formed from creative insight, designed to ignite desire and which provides utility to the users.
But we should have known better. I mean, we’re an agency and on our homepage we have a guy jumping off of a stack of cheeseburgers. That’s amazing.
Our strategists warned that the Internet would not be ready for such brilliance. Unfortunately, like both the Mayans and John Cusack from the movie 2012, their warnings went unheard. As soon as we launched, the retweet avalanche began. A few minutes later Twitter was down.
So it’s clear to us what happened. Yesterday, we broke Twitter. It wasn’t on purpose, but neither was the discovery of America. We apologize for the interruption, but not for our site’s amazingness. We assure everyone that next time we make an announcement of this magnitude we will notify Twitter ahead of time. Thank you for your time and understanding.